It’s no secret that I struggle with the concept of “church”. Maybe it is a secret. I don’t know, it’s no secret to myself at least.
It’s been a long and arduous journey since discovering Christ my senior year of high school. Growing up in a Christian home being shoved off to church at every waking moment and later attending a Christian University, it’s fair to say I’ve had a variety of encounters when it comes to Christianity. I’ve had my genuine moments of entering into the community and love that is “church”.
But for the most part, the past five years of my life have revolved around many failed attempts, broken promises, bitter discussions, scarred passion, and a plethora of doubts and insecurity when it came to my role in this phenomena called church and modern day Christianity.
It’s been awhile since i’ve felt that belonging. That sense of knowing your place in something. And that’s not just in church, hell, that’s in life man.
Today in church, we sang this song. Not too many churches are rocking Switchfoot during the worship portion (and I’m not saying that’s what makes my church better or cooler than yours) but mine did today. I haven’t been going to this church very long and my gosh it’s not perfect in any sense, BUT it’s as close to perfect me as it gets. I feel challenged, yet welcomed. No show, no frills, no perfectly orchestrated service with fog machines and hip videos. I love the fact that I stand in this church with a beautiful young lady on side of me and a homeless man on the other and there’s no separation, no pretense.
The more I get to know the heart of Christ, and the heart of His people, I see that God wants us to know Him, intimately, and a huge part of that is actively investing ourselves in His creation, His children, His church. We must be willing to rub shoulders with the dirty and unwanted parts of our own lives as well as the lives of others, and in turn embrace it all, willingly and furiously.
This body’s not my own
This world is not my own
But I still can hear the sound
Of my heart beating out
So let’s go boys, play it loud